Introduction

• Failure has become a dirty word in modern culture in at least the last decade, associated with many negative connotations. Parents seem to never want their children to fail at anything, companies shy aware from calling out when employees fail at something and individuals are actively discouraged from reviewing their failures and instead told to only focus on successes or strengths. I believe this is fundamentally wrong, therefore I want to explain why I see failing as a fundamental part of being human and of growing towards success.
• Specifically, the aim of this piece is to highlight why it’s important to fail by explaining (a) the reason why society wants to eliminate failure (b) explain why failure is key to success (c) explain why sometimes even if it doesn’t lead to success, failure is still important.

 

Why does society want to eliminate failure? 

• Nobody wants to be, or enjoys being, embarrassed, getting things wrong or failing. But society seems to have forgotten the positives that come from failing and instead just wants to shield people from the negatives. My view is there are three main reasons for this:

1. Increased comfort – We have seen a huge increase in physical comfort for the majority of humans in the last 50 –100 years. This rapid rise has eroded our appetite and tolerance for anything uncomfortable, and failing is uncomfortable in the short term.
2. Airbrushing of Failure – There is a tendency within society today to idolise individuals, be it sportsmen, tech entrepreneurs or even reality TV stars. In interviews, books, films etc the focus is always on the successes and the invincibility of these individuals, with little emphasis put on their failures and the darker side of their lives. The introduction of social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat has spread this airbrushing culture. Now everyone can see a picture reel of all the highlights of people’s lives, the best bits. The successes and the failures rarely get posted or mentioned.
3. Vicious cycle – These second points only re-enforce each other, leading us to a position where we are more likely to shun failure than embrace it. If all you are seeing is someone’s Instagram account with beautiful beach pictures, a great body and posh dinners you start to believe that is their whole life and want that for yourself. By focusing on embracing that you remain in your comfort zone, too scared to try something new and fail at it because you’ll be the only person failing.

• The above things have led to a position where, as a society, our self-worth is solely focused on succeeding, thus creating an environment where individuals become paralysed by the possibility of failing. This paralysis is trapping creativity and preventing individuals reaching and pushing the boundaries of their potential.

 

Why failure is key to success 

• Now that I’ve discussed why society is so against celebrating and embracing failure I want to focus on why failure is a key to success.
• Firstly, failure is completely inevitable. Even if you made it your sole aim to never fail, not only would you have an incredibly boring and limited life, you wouldn’t succeed because failure can be the result of random chance. For example, you could be the best and most prepared climber in the world, but if you start an ascent and suddenly an unexpected storm hits and you’re unable to complete the climb, you have failed, and there was nothing you could have done differently.
• Secondly, success isn’t a standalone final point. The key requirements on the road to success are motivation and grit. If you haven’t failed at anything, what will be your incentive to try harder? Failure keeps the fire burning to come back stronger, faster, better and ultimately become more successful.
• Thirdly, some of the most ‘successful’ people in human history were also the biggest failures. Thomas Edison had over 1,000 attempts before he finally found his optimal light bulb configuration. Image you were Edison after the 800th attempt, everyone would be reviewing you as a complete failure, but without those failures he would not have learned the lessons required to produce his famous light bulb.  Another example is Michael Jordan, he famously said: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games, 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot … and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”
• The final fundamentally important thing to remember is that if you are always succeeding and winning the game, then you must only be playing someone else’s game, and not by your own rules. Someone else’s game/rules is where the crowd is, in the safe places. Impressive, extraordinary things don’t happen in this safe place where the majority live. To succeed you need to play by your own rules and that can appear like failing against everyone else’s rules. Here is just one example: if everyone thought that an evolution of the taxi world would be the next big thing, then Uber wouldn’t be the multi-billion-pound company that it is today.
• Failure is fundamental to success, the sooner you can shrug off society’s embarrassment of failing, the sooner you can start learning from your failures productively and keep failing until you succeed.

 

Why failure is important even if it doesn’t lead to success 

• Above I’ve detailed why failure can be a core requirement for success, however there are other reasons why failure is important to us that are unrelated to our success, two of which I want to call out.
• Firstly, once you stop seeing failure as a world ending, terrible thing that pulls you into a whirlwind of self—punishment you can start to split out failures which are actual errors and those which are simply bad luck. Once you do this you can focus on the failures that are actual errors so they don’t happen again.
• Secondly, understanding that failure happens to everyone and shouldn’t be a punishable offence increases your level of empathy and compassion for others. Accepting and understanding your own failure is a fundamental requirement for being a good manager, and being able to better understand others’ positions or viewpoints. When we are teaching children something new we often say ‘nobody gets it right first time’ ‘practice makes perfect’ and yet as adults we completely forget this, becoming embarrassed, disappointed and frustrated when we or others fail. Don’t fall into that trap.

 

How to fight/embrace failure 

• Now that you know why failure is important, for both success and more generally, I want to focus on the different ways you can either fight or embrace failure:

• Learn to get comfortable failing – If you aren’t currently comfortable failing then start small. Allow yourself to fail in a ‘safe’ environment where few or no-one will see and the consequences are minimal. As that starts to feel more comfortable and you build successful ways to learn from those failings then you’ll feel more comfortable failing when the stakes are higher or the number of potential witnesses increases. Remember, practice makes perfect, once you can perfect how to fail you’ll be well on the road to success.
• Always address the root cause of failure – The key here is not to shy away when you do fail, take the time to investigate and understand the root cause, that’ll help you ensure the same failure doesn’t happen over and over. While failing isn’t a negative, constantly failing at the same thing without learning the lessons is.
• Surround yourself with post like-minded people – Once you are on the road to embracing your failures, you need to look at your personal environment. Start by trying to influence and change the views of the people around you, if that doesn’t work then starting surrounding yourself with new people who do share your mind-set. It’s important to sort out your internal environment first, if you’re not comfortable with failing you will never convince others to be.

 

Conclusion 

• Failure is a fundamental part of life, it is inevitable, so starting embracing it! Focus on praising and rewarding your effort and the effort of others instead of the outcome, because sometimes the outcome can be the result of dumb luck.
• As Robert Allen famously said ‘There is no failure. Only feedback’. Failure isn’t final, failure is an opportunity to learn and to grow. Never be ashamed or embarrassed by your failings. Instead, accept it, do the root cause analysis and carry on striving for success.

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